Where's the snow? And no I didn't get punched in the face!

Posted on January 15, 2014
Two weeks ago New Jersey had its first major snow storm. It even had its own name, Winter Storm Hercules, and from what I remember it affected pretty much the entire continental U.S. It was so big that an escaped inmate from a minimal security prison in Kentucky walked into a hotel and asked the concierge to call the police so he could go back to his warm cell. Lighthouses and bridges were covered with ice, lakes were frozen over, and the residents of Miami had to put on a sweater. (Gasp!) It was THAT big.

Even the squirrels were surprised
by the Polar Vortex

So...of course...like any woman with post-Christmas-shopping-for-everyone-else blues, I went online and searched for long overdue and very much needed snow boots. The ones I bought back over ten years ago aren't cutting it anymore. I need the real deal, something from a Canadian company who knows how to make serious snow boots.

Now that I have them, they are collecting dust. Where is all the snow?!?!? My ten day forecast call for beautiful winter running weather (35-45 degrees) with maybe a "chance" of snow on Saturday. I got two smooth sleds and a spanking new pair of Kamik boots waiting to be broken in. I need some help here Weather Channel!!!

But Winter Storm Hercules wasn't a total miss. I did go sledding with my kids in my old boots, and I did curse at them after my toes froze in the first twenty minutes. But aside from giving us a few good sledding days, it left NJ with a mess to clean up once the icy rains hit a few days later. The sleet came just in time for me to execute my double sow cow forward kick split jump (not sure if that's a real combo) straight onto the icy floor of my driveway. My kids were already in the car when I walked over to the unshoveled passenger side (not that I'm blaming anyone, hubby, my love) and slipped onto my face.

Yes...MY FACE. My entire body was spared, somehow, and I landed on my left cheekbone, eyebrow and all the flesh in between. Even my ear lobe ached.

This was my daughter's account: "Mom, one instant you were walking, the next instant your arms and legs were flapping around like you were doing a crazy person dance, and the next instant you were gone!"

To her credit, she rolled the window down to check if I was okay. Though the loud bursts of laughter wasn't helping the situation, neither was her constantly saying "I wish I recorded it!" At least I gave my kids a few laughs. Right? I LOVE MY KIDS!!!! Ahem...

Well, the bruises appeared the next day and so did the soreness and the swelling, and a lot of TLC from my hubby. But then, the questions started. "What happened to your face?" "Did someone hit you?" "Wow, it looks like you got slapped around." "Did you get into a fight?"

Seriously? A fight? I'm a lover, peace-maker, fist-to-the-face-avoider, and definitely NOT a fighter. Unless of course you hurt my family. Seriously. If you ever hurt my family...

Sorry, I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Amazon Prime...I'm currently on season 5...it's freaking awesome!!! FX hired some amazing writers for Sons of Anarchy. The twists, the turns, the detailed back story, and nothing is predictable. You definitely grow to love those psychopaths...uh...bikers, even when they beat the crap out of a stranger for just looking at them wrong. They have to, those strangers may be out to kill them!


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6 comments:

  1. Great post. Sorry about your face! Ouch! Slipped on the driveway...hmmm...makes a change from walked into a door... No, sorry, of course you did! There's a whole blog post here to back you up...you slipped on the driveway! :-)

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    1. LOL...Or how about "I fell down the stairs"? Who hits their face falling down the stairs? I've fallen down my stairs tons of times and my toes have paid the price for my clumsiness. I haven't walked into a door yet...but I wouldn't be surprised.

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  2. Ack! Isn't that typical? You buy something that becomes quickly useless. That happens to me every time I buy a new pair of fingernail clippers, I'll find my old missing pair as soon as I get home from the store!

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    1. It's like they know! :-) Thanks for stopping by S.L. Kilpin!

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  3. Oh. your daughters description of you falling and flailing around was hilarious!! I'm still busting up.

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  4. My husbands account was funny too. He was saying something to me as I walked to the passenger side, turned around for a sec, and when he turned back he saw I wasn't outside anymore. He looked inside the car and saw that I wasn't there either. He looked around and didn't see me walking towards the house. A few seconds passed before he realized I was on the ground.

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