The Soul Snatcher
Posted on September 26, 2013
Underneath the floor padding of the playground swings lies a dark spirit sleeping inside a coffin lined with red satin. He has been asleep for over three hundred years, under a spell placed upon him by a witch who has long since been dead. His name is Jeremiah, and he is a soul snatcher.



The spell should have lasted until the ends of the Earth, until the sun burned out and life ceased to exist on this planet, but seven-year-old Tamara didn't know that. All Tamara knew was that she had found a book of witch's spells hidden in the backyard of their new home. Tamara's father was installing a pool into their hundred year old plot, and excavation dug up a box with an worn out, leather-bound book inside.

"Dad, can I have it?" Tamara asked with excitement when her father was about to throw it into the garbage can.

"Are you sure," her father said. "It looks like it’s about to fall apart."

"It looks so cool."

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The World Around Me
Posted on September 25, 2013
A few years ago, when I was running the corporate race, I never made time to meet new people or to "stop and smell the roses". My day was filled with tasks: take kids to daycare/school, go to work, work, pick up kids from daycare/afterschool, cooking/feeding, homework, washing the kids, work (it's listed twice on purpose), put kids to sleep, maybe shower, knock out after 2 minutes of reading the news...and then start it all over again. It was jam packed, so full that I would sometimes get a spine tingling sensation that I forgot to pick up my daughter at school or left my son on the curb by accident. After getting a whiplash from checking the backseat for my kids, and having my stomach sink to my feet from not finding them there, it would take my head a few moments to remember that it was Saturday and the kids were home with their dad while I went grocery shopping.

Sanity? No time...had to go.

But now things are different. I don't run that race anymore, and I probably wont for a while, if ever again, so I have more time to literally stop and experience the world around me.

When I visit the local fresh food market, I hear the lisp in the cashiers speech, and noticed how her ponytail bounces happily every time she turns her head. Her face is bright and hopeful when she asks me if I'm interested in their specials. She asks me about my kids and smiles genuinely when she says my son's puppy dog sad face is adorable. I see the contours of her wrinkles, the upward curve of her laugh lines, and the crows feet around her eyes that give away a hint of her constant laughter. She's been there for years and I've only recently become aware of her countenance.

I see the crossing guard every afternoon when the kids come out of school. I now notice how he frantically rushes kids and their parents across the busy intersection, stepping in front of cars with his arms up and his eyebrows furrowed. The kids run, as directed, and the cars honk at him for getting in their way. There are a lot of kids crossing that intersection between 2:45 and 3:15 pm, and we trust the crossing guards with their lives. He would step in front of a moving bus to make sure none of the kids get hurt. I know this because I saw him do it!  He too has been there for years, and I just recently noticed his manner.

I've finally met other parents in the park, the fathers who run around with their kids in the playground as if they were kids themselves, the mothers who all have stories to share about how wonderful and horrible their kids behave. We laugh and make light of stressful parenting and relationship moments. It's one thing to read perfectly crafted parenting stories online, it's a whole other experience when you witness another person's body language, hear the inflection in the tones on specific words, their unedited choice of language, and their laughter....it speaks volumes.

I notice the other children in my my kids' school. There is a lot more ethnic variety than I ever realized. I know which kids, by face, are friendly and which look like borderline bullies. I can tell from my son's reaction that he's spotted a friend going to the park, or if he saw someone he doesn't like. Best of all, I've met my daughter's friends. Now, after school, she tells me about her day, which friend did what, who said something funny, who got sent to detention, and I know who she's talking about. I think my daughter and her friends could fill up a couple of middle grade novels. They're a funny group of kids.

Part of all this acknowledgement of the world around me, I think, comes from writing. I try to find out more about who I'm talking to through their body language, their fashion sense or lack of, their facial movements, their gestures, and choice of words. I learn to define characters by looking, almost studying the way people in my world behave. When I decide on a character, I think "She's a cross between Mary and Jane, and maybe a little bit of Kate," and then I take their habits, their traits, their histories, and mesh them into rich complex characters.

Sometimes a person's history, or a simple object will prompt a story in my head. The other day I noticed a father wearing a worn leather watch, peeking through a rolled up button down shirt. He took off the watch before he started playing with his kid in the playground. Ever since, I noticed he does this every time he goes to the park. Does the watch have meaning? Is it a family heirloom? Does he have a wrist injury? There's a story to tell there.

And you never know when or where inspiration will hit you.

Almost every day, after I pick up the kids from school, I stop at a small coffee shop to get my second cup of coffee. While on line, I overheard a very old woman tell her husband that she wanted two sugars in her coffee. He argued that she should only have one. She then tried to stomp her cane on his feet but kept missing. He laughed and then ordered her a coffee with two sugars. That was sweet, I thought. After I bought my coffee, my kids and I sat at the table next to them. I overheard their conversation in Spanish and began giggling -- he was telling his wife dirty jokes and they were hilarious! This couple sparked a dialog in my head that went into a scene in my novel, A Selfish Moment, between an older couple bickering but laughing about it throughout. It was perfect.

To think that just a few years ago I was rushing through my life not noticing the people in my world. Hopefully I'll never miss out again.

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Zen...
Posted on September 3, 2013
Zen Pencils posted a cartoon by Bill Watterson on life and happiness. It really spoke to me as a mother who worked nights and weekends, as a professional who spent years "climbing" the ladder and hating the politics up on top, and as someone who struggles everyday with the decision to stay home with my kids and keep writing. This decision did not come lightly almost three years ago, and it's a decision I make almost every day. Bill summarizes it ever too perfectly in this strip.

http://zenpencils.com/comic/128-bill-watterson-a-cartoonists-advice/

I know that sometimes the decision looks foolish in a time where a lot of people are out of work. Hell, I feel guilty knowing I chose to leave my career unlike some who were booted out. Recruiters call me often (though, not as often as a year ago) and I receive their calls politely, but they always end the conversation with a not-to-subtle suggestion that time is fleeting and I should go back to work soon in order to receive similar compensation as my last job.

Compensation was never the issue. The culture was the issue...and my inability to manage time with my family because of it. As I moved up I had to deal with people other than the worker bees. The worker bees are the life source of a company, the people who know how things work. As I moved up I dealt with the schemers, the cheaters, and the pretenders that made all the decisions. I tried to do my best to keep my team, my worker bees, away from all the ugly politics in upper management of corporate america. Once I became the leader, things got ugly, then it interfered with my life. Upper management politics wasn't for me.

At first, my husband supported me completely to take a few months off between jobs. The plan was to leave at the start of the new year and return to work at the end of the summer. I had to spend some quality time with my two kids. Too many nights and weekends were wasted on work, and too many times did I catch my daughter say, "Mom, you're not paying attention," when in fact I was actually trying to pay attention to what she had to say. I had, somehow, programmed myself to NOT shut off, to work around the clock without actually working around the clock. I was missing out on my own family life. I needed a serious break.

Then, something totally unexpected happened: I loved being home with my kids. I actually paid attention to what my kids had to say, and I was feeling rested and healthy. I started exercising, running, and playing sports with my children. Even my relationship with my husband was better. 

This is when I started writing again. I had been writing since I was a kid, but I had stopped to focus on my career. Sadly, my last journal entry was in my late twenties. My last piece of writing was shortly after my daughter was born.

Now, taking time off, my life changed. I had regained a sense tranquility during those first few months off and it lead me back to writing. After a few short stories, the idea of Distant Origins was born. It took almost a year to finish the first ugly draft, and I was severely out of practice in the art, but I knew in my heart that I could do it. It was my first attempt at writing a full novel. This was something I had wanted to do my entire life. 

As I saw our bank account balance take a dive month after month, I started worrying about finding another job. It wasn't the actual "finding" I was worried about. I knew I could get a job easily. The recruiters were emailing me almost daily back then, and I had built relationships with co-workers and vendors that proved to be fruitful. I was worried about going back to the same old routine as before. And the worst part...my daughter was old enough to be aware of my decision. She will remember me choosing to go back to work, to go back to that life, instead of being with her and her baby brother. This was heartbreaking to me.

I didn't want to go back to the workaholic lifestyle, to being an absentee mother, to sleepless nights and horrible nightmares about abandoning my kids in random places to run to a meeting.  I loved time with my children. I loved writing. I loved being fit and healthy. My husband saw the change in me and he loved it too. Everything was better this way. Why would I chose that life over Zen? For money? For more trendy clothes, shoes and purses? For expensive restaurants and vacations? For bragging rights? To reach a certain status? Who was I trying to make happy then? Not me. 

My husband and I made the decision to adjust our lives (a.k.a our finances) in order to give me another few years at home before unforeseen forces pull me back to work. We want to stretch out this Zen period as much as we can, as long as the world around us allows. People always say they would take time off if they could afford it - my husband and I were one of those people. Now, we travel a lot less, wait for bargains, eat home more often, and just save money wherever we can so that we can continue to swim in this great big pool of Zen. It may not be fashionable, and may be frowned upon, but we, as a family, are happy. 

Those recruiters were right...time is fleeting. My kids will be young for only a few more years and I don't want to miss out. Today, and possibly every day this week, I choose to stay home, be with my kids, and write.



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