Success Is Different, This Time Around (IWSG)
Posted on September 1, 2021

The question for this month's IWSG post is "How do you define success as a writer?" For me, it's when I hold the print book in my hands during the final product review, and I try to convince myself that I actually wrote it all. It happens after each book. I'll read a passage or a scene and be in awe -- I really can't believe I transform over 50K-60K words into a freaking story. Who am I?!?!   

This time around... it's a bit different.

For this book and series, success is about picking up the pieces of my broken heart and restarting and finishing a book that my brother will never be able to read. I was in a bit of a hiatus since my brother's passing three years ago -- he loved the series and he bugged me incessantly about the 3rd book soon after he read the 2nd. I can still remember the stink eye he'd give me when I would tell him I wasn't done yet.

It took forever to overcome my sorrow and work up the courage to finish the last book, but I finally did it. I teared up a bit when I typed "The End" at the bottom of the manuscript, a bittersweet ending in some ways. Some scenes were painful to write, especially when the main character is reflecting on the death of her siblings. I sincerely believe that his spirit guided me through it all, his older-brother nudge, that sense of brotherly protection he gave me when we would go to the neighborhood park when we were kids. He always had my back.

As I edit the manuscript, I feel as though this is the end of a chapter in my life, another ending with my brother I will have to push through. What keeps me moving forward is that I truly believe that he would have loved the ending, and when I have the 3rd and final print book in my hands I hope... no... I believe he will be there with me in spirit.

That, for me, will be success.

~ * ~


This post is part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group blog hop.

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2 comments:

  1. I'm sorry. That's a rough thing to have to deal with. It's also one I understand, personally, and am coping with myself. I wish you good luck in finishing and making this one happen in his memory.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Shannon. If you’re dealing with a sudden loss, I recommend a book titled It's OK That You're Not OK by Megan Devine. It has really helped me look at things differently. I tried a lot of books but this is the only one that stuck. Sending some peaceful vibes your way.
      ❤️

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