The question for this month's IWSG post is "How do you define success as a writer?" For me, it's when I hold the print book in my hands during the final product review, and I try to convince myself that I actually wrote it all. It happens after each book. I'll read a passage or a scene and be in awe -- I really can't believe I transform over 50K-60K words into a freaking story. Who am I?!?!   

This time around... it's a bit different.

For this book and series, success is about picking up the pieces of my broken heart and restarting and finishing a book that my brother will never be able to read. I was in a bit of a hiatus since my brother's passing three years ago -- he loved the series and he bugged me incessantly about the 3rd book soon after he read the 2nd. I can still remember the stink eye he'd give me when I would tell him I wasn't done yet.

It took forever to overcome my sorrow and work up the courage to finish the last book, but I finally did it. I teared up a bit when I typed "The End" at the bottom of the manuscript, a bittersweet ending in some ways. Some scenes were painful to write, especially when the main character is reflecting on the death of her siblings. I sincerely believe that his spirit guided me through it all, his older-brother nudge, that sense of brotherly protection he gave me when we would go to the neighborhood park when we were kids. He always had my back.

That, for me, will be success.

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