A Comic Battle
Posted on April 25, 2012
So there I am with a half-eaten Wendy’s cheeseburger on my tray in the middle of the Jacob Javits Convention center dressed as Hit Girl when my phone growls like an angry puppy. It’s my day off and my boss knows I am at Comic-Con so why is he calling me? I silence the puppy-growling ringtone and pop another fry in my mouth.

“Is that him?” Joel asks with a wide smile peeking through his green Kick-Ass outfit.

“Yeah, he is driving me nuts. He knows I am off today.”

Although I placed the phone in my purse I cannot stop thinking about the possible reasons my boss is calling me. A server went down. The site is crashing. Orders are not going through. The possibilities are endless and I succumb to the pressures of running a high-volume eCommerce site and check my email.

“Oh crap. He forgot about the I.T. budget meeting today...in ten minutes! Crap. I have to go. I can get to the office in five minutes if I grab a cab right now.”

“But, you don’t have any clothes. Remember? We left them in the car parked by the tunnel.”

“Shit.” I stand and take off the purple wig, the black cape, the black mask and the pink, shiny belt with the HG buckle. “Ok, how’s this?”

Joel groans and shakes his head. “You still don’t look presentable. The tights have the knee pads, you should take them off, and then maybe...” He bares his teeth and cocks his head side to side with apologetic eyebrows.

A guy dressed as Mathew Patel from Scott Pilgrim vs. The World hoots at me once the tights come off. “Awe, where you going Hit Girl?” he slurs at me and Joel stands to face him. “Uh Oh, Kick Ass is going to kick…my…ass.” His drunken laughter is accompanied by his friends’ mischievous chuckles.

I touch Joel’s forearm to turn him around. “Let it go babe. They are idiots and I have to leave. How about now?” I put my hands on my waste and spin in place. What a mistake.

“Woah Hit Girl. You look too good for Kick-Ass. You need a real man.”

Before I finished blinking Mathew Patel is on his back from Joel’s fast take-down. Joel snaps back to his feet and grabs the guy dressed as Todd Ingram into some sort of sleeper hold and has him begging Joel to stop. The other two dressed as the Katayanagi twins stand back and wait for Joel to let Todd go. The cast from Scott Pilgrim mistook Joel for the wimpy Kick-Ass comic book character instead of the black-belt jujitsu competitor he really is.

Three hours later, after the convention center security and the NYPD let us go, I finally had a chance to call my boss.

“Hey Ben, sorry I couldn't make the meeting. Something came up and I got…detained.” I roll my eyes and Joel snickers at me.

“No worries. I got it mixed up anyway. The meeting is tomorrow. I’m glad I didn’t put a dent on your day off. Enjoy Comic-Con. Later.”


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