I Lost My Way
Posted on January 28, 2014
My voice is gone. I can't find it.
And if I could find it, what would I say?
I'd curse the earth, the moon, the stars, the sun,
And the god that created all things.

I'd scream a scream like you've never heard,
I'd pray for the impossible,
For the reversal of time,
For the world to implode and end all suffering.

Everything is pointless now.
I've lost the heart of my soul,
My reason for living,
My north star.

He was barely old enough to form a word,
But strong enough to run after a ball,
Into the middle of a street,
In front of an unknowing truck.

Please remove my wrist straps and hand me a knife,
Or inject me with morphine until it overflows,
Or drill a hole in my head and let me drip until I dry up.
Let me die, so I can be with him and apologize.

Image Credit:
Dreams and Nightmares by Robert Stevens Connet


  1. Very strong, emotional poem, Tanya.
    Well done!
    Yes, to live that reality is almost unthinkable. One of my sons was knocked down by a car on his way to school. He lived, but I'll never, ever forget the feeling of running barefoot, in my housecoat, through our village to the bus stop after his school mate came to tell me he'd been hit by a car. The boy didn't know if he was alive or dead. That few minutes were the worst of my life.

    1. Thank you Christine. It really is unthinkable. Whenever thoughts like these pop into my head I literally shake my head to get them out. It's unnerving. I still get chills thinking about that dream and how I felt afterwards.


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