These past few years have been tough. I released my last book in 2018, The Onyx Ring, just two months before my brother passed away. I put all book marketing and promotion on hold, and writing the last book was practically impossible. I had bigger and more important things to do, and my imagination could not take writing scenes, dialog and emotions that included loss. It was way too close, too personal. The wounds were too fresh.
After two years, last summer to be exact, I finally restarted writing the last book. It was difficult writing about a character who experienced loss, but I tackled it slowly, and I DELETED A TON OF chapters that just needed to be written but weren't part of the story.
Huh?
Allow me explain...
One of the first scenes I wrote was about Jasmyn, the protagonist, reuniting with her mother after the loss of her brother. (Yeah, you read that right. She lost her brother.) Well, that scene was full of tears and anger and laughter, spanning all ends of the emotional spectrum. The dialog was pure emotion, and very dramatic and tuned with the personalities of the two characters. However, the scene was a tangent that didn't fit with the timeline, location, or overall arc of the story. Regardless, I needed to write it. I needed to get those emotions out on paper. I needed to cry it out, to write words I've said, words my parents have said, and put it into a context that made some sort of sense. I threw vases and plates and other objects against walls, and allowed their pieces to crumble to the floor into infinite piles of ceramic dust. Jasmyn's speech was impaired from heartache, and her mother's knees buckled until she fell to the ground in utter weakness and agony. They talked, they fought, they went on walks to discuss mundane things to try and get back to normal. Her father joined, their cousins, and a few other family members. And, even though none of it -- and I mean NONE OF IT -- had anything to do with the story, it was incredibly cathartic.
After a few weeks of writing scenes that had nothing to do with the story but had everything to do with my emotions, I went back and restarted the last book. I felt I had overcome that hump, that mountain that was keeping me from writing. Those scenes might not have help the story move along, but they definitely helped me.
So as I finish the first draft of the third and final book in the Family Relics series, and restart my self publishing career (and it seriously feels like a total restart), I want to take a moment to thank those that have been patient with me. If there is one thing this pandemic has taught me, it's to have patience with everyone and everything, especially yourself.
Writing can be so cathartic. Those scenes definitely needed to be written.
ReplyDeleteThey were screaming to get out. Who knew?
DeleteI admire how you were able to write about your feelings. Thoroughly cathartic. A terrific way to work through your grief. Good luck with the edits/revisions. Let us know how it works out.
ReplyDeleteThanks Diane! :-D
DeleteCongratulations on your restart, and I'm so sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteThank you Janet.
DeleteA great example of how writing can keep us sane, allow us to get emotions out. Good luck for getting that last book done.
ReplyDeleteThanks Nick. It's amazing how I was so scared to write because of the emotions, and it was what I needed all along.
DeleteWriting is cathartic. Sorry for your loss and glad you are writing again.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading, Melissa. :-)
DeleteWhile writing is a process. It also helps us process. You're brave to dig into your grief. I believe when we excavate the pain in our selves it can turn beautiful, and help others. Sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteI think it does. It really is cathartic.
ReplyDeleteWriting is great therapy. Glad to hear you're writing again. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Jean!
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