I am in no short supply of insecurities when it comes to my writing career. As to my actual writing . . . sometimes I hate it, but when I love it, I truly love it.
This isn't bragging by any means -- I am my harshest critique. I've delete parts of stories, some up to 20k words, because they sucked big time. Even those nights where I would wake up from an incredible dream and spend the next 2-3 hours writing 3,000 words of a best-selling story, only to wake up the next morning to read ramblings of an insomniac trying to sow incompatible plots into an ice-cream hamburger salad quilt.
Yeah... I meant to write that to show how out-of-whack those stories can be. Delete. Delete. Delete. We writers give the delete button real purpose.
And it's okay when this happens. To create is to realize that you will sometimes, a lot of times, create garbage. We all hate it when it happens. It is the plight of creatives.
But, every now and then we write sparkling little gems buried in incongruous language and syntactical muck. We fail to see it shine the moment it's created, but after several rounds of edits, cleaning it and nurturing it into the story we know is sitting right under the grimy surface, we arrive at a shiny, happy little bundle of rich, compelling story.
And it's okay to love it, and to say out loud, and proud, "Damn it, this is some good shit."
So, be proud writers, and keep on writing. Even if your own writing seems to drive you bonkers at times, and make you question your goals, your purpose, your talent. Don't let some of your bad writing keep you from discovering your hidden gems.
As with love and relationships, you will only find happiness if you put yourself out there.
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